...IT HAPPENS

Yoga (I may be turning gay)

2009-04-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

Having moved to Los Angeles I knew that I would eventually end up doing something that I swore I would never do. I wish I could say I was talking about heroin but unfortunately that isn't the case. What I'm talking about is YOGA. A couple of weeks ago (the beautiful girl that I'm dating) asked if I'd like to join her for her yoga class. My first reaction was "you gotta be fucking kidding me." After some persuasion and promising of sexual favors I agreed. I called up my aunt to borrow her yoga mat (which happened to be pink) and was off to my first class.

When I first arrived I was baffled as to why the girl I'm dating would bring me to such a place. There was nothing but beautiful girls everywhere wearing next to nothing. I have to give my girl credit for having the balls to bring me to such a place and not worry about me seeing all these other gorgeous creatures.

So here I am laying on my pink mat, surrounded by beautiful women (wearing very little), in a steamy room, that is very quiet except for the ambient sounds coming from the speakers. I thought I had died and gone to heaven for a minute. That was until the class began.

The instructor arrived (known as the YOGI which made me think of Yoshi from Mario) and began the class with a calling to the Gods. WTF???? This is where shit got really weird for me. The next thing I know he is leading everyone through a series of meditation hums and what not. It took every bit of effort I had not to laugh out loud. A few snickers did however come out and nothing but angry glares were shot my way (fuck the bitches with the angry stares...they are probably vegetarians anyway.) After we made it through the chants, callling to the Gods, and singing of some weird ass African tribal song it was time to begin actual Yoga.

After the first five minutes I was drenched in sweat... I couldn't believe how intense and difficult this shit was. I don't know if it was the lack of oxygen getting to my brain or the myriad of beautiful women poking their asses out in every humanly possible way but I actually began to enjoy myself. I could tell I was getting a great workout because I had never sweated so much except for the time I had sex in a sauna while living in NYC.

So there I was doing Yoga and really getting into it when out of nowhere the unthinkable happened. I was moving my body into the downward facing dog position (Yoga terminology bitches) when all of a sudden an uncontrolled fart released its self from my puckered butt cheeks. I wish I could say it was silent and smelled like roses but this was not the case. Being in an almost silent room this fart rang out like the dawning of a new morning. My first reaction was to turn to the girl I'm dating and say "you could say excuse me." This would automatically take the blame off me but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to blame it on her. So there I was doing everything I could not to laugh and hoping that since it was so loud no one could pin-point exactly where it was released. But then the smell hit like a ton of bricks to the face. It had the smell of one of those farts you rip in your car on a hot summer day with all the windows up just so you can see how smelly your gas is. I'm sure you're wondering how I played this off. Well friends I did the next best thing. I started making rude faces at the girl on the other side of me. This would help insinuate that I was very upset that she would do such a thing. After a couple of disapproval head shakes and finger motions to the girl on the right of me I was in the clear. I had successfully put the blame on her and from the eyes of the others around me I could tell they believed that it was in fact this little girl. The fact that she was asian probably didn't help her case either.

I spent the rest of the class squeezing my ass cheeks together and praying that another slip doesn't happen. It would be near impossible to blame a second fart on someone else. Note to self...don't eat Taco Bell before Yoga class.

Overall the experience was pretty good. I got an incredible workout, I found out where all the beautiful women like to hangout, and the girl I'm dating repaid me for going with her with some things I'd rather not discuss on here : )

The picture right below this is an example of the downward dog position. This was the position I was doing when all hell broke lose from my bowels.

For My Mom

2009-03-10T21:02:00.001-07:00

I've decided to write something a little different for this post than what usually appears on here. This blog was started so that my family and friends could keep up with all the ridiculous shit that happens in my life. If you've read any of the past posts then you know that I love three things: 1. women 2. alcohol and 3. acting a fool/breaking the law. There is actually one more thing that I love more than any of these things and I don't discuss it much on here. What I'm referring to is my family. So this post is actually going to be about my amazing mother.

A couple of weeks ago I received a Valentines day package from my mom that was filled with candy, a few cards, and a little book called "Eat Your Peas." I read the card from my mom, I read the card from my dog buddy that my mom wrote for him, and I read the card from my dad that my mom wrote for him as well. The package was filled with candy and I actually just finished off the last piece today. The one thing I hadn't really bothered looking at was the little "Eat Your Peas" book.

Tonight as I was laying in bed I noticed the little book with the ribbon still around it sitting on the bedside table. I picked it up and took the ribbon off and proceeded to open it to the first page. When I did this, 2 one dollar bills fell out. This made me smile because my mom is someone who never carries much cash on her but every time she writes me a letter or sends me a package she gives me all the cash that she has in her pocketbook. This usually means I receive anything from 1 dollar to 4 dollars. Its a shocker when there is actually a five dollar bill (this has maybe happened once.) When big bills do arrive in a letter I know that my father must have been in the room when my mom was writing me.

Anyway, after setting the money aside I began to read this little book that took about three minutes to read. By the time I was at the end I was definitely teary eyed and felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and thankfullness. In all the years I've been around I've never given my mom the credit she deserves. So here it is:

Why my mom fucking rocks:

-she would do absolutely anything in the world for me (make me brownies when I come in high as hell and she knows I've got the muchies. By the way, my mom has never smoked anything in her life and she does not condone it but she is still cool.)

-she is always in my corner no matter what (I got a well deserved spanking from an extended family member one time but when my mom found out she let this person know that if they ever laid a hand on me again they will be answering to her)

-Even though I enjoy doing ridiculous crazy shit, at the end of the day I care about and have respect for others and this my mom has instilled in me. I definitely don't always do the right thing... but when it counts my mom knows I'll do the right thing. That means a lot to me.

-I've done some stupid shit growing up and yet still my mom loves me more than anything in this world. (hit and run, suspended from school, and stole the landrover just to name a few)

-She has taught me how to love, care, grieve, and live (I am an incredibly happy person and owe this to how my mom raised me)

-I was definitely a wild kid growing up and am still pretty wild but if my mom hadn't stayed on my ass I would never have made it out of elementary school, middle school, high school, or college. (my mom forced me to study and never let me just get by... I'm so thankful that she whooped my ass into shape. )

-she has always been there for me even when no one else was

-More than anything I'm happy that even though my mom doesn't agree with or condone a lot of the dumb stuff I do she is still my number one fan and supports me more than anyone else.

My mom is my best friend and even though I haven't always been great at showing how much she really means to me I know deep down she knows that she means the world to me. I love who I am and its because I've had the most amazing kick-ass mom anyone could ever ask for.

I mean how could this woman not be amazing... hellooooo she gave birth to Matty Smooch baby!

I LOVE YOU MOM and can't wait for you to come visit me in LA : )

I'm in Los Angeles baby!!!

2009-02-18T22:58:00.000-08:00

Wow... where to begin. First off, I apologize that I have not kept you well informed on all my happenings as of lately. I seriously have been extremely busy lately even with being currently unemployed. Let me begin by being dauntingly boring and telling you what I have been up to. I'm currently working on a screenplay that makes Tucker Max's "I Hope they Serve Beer in Hell" seem like a children's book, I'm getting new headshots taken on Monday and then I'm going to begin meeting with agents, I'm applying at every restaurant in LA trying to land a waiter job so my days are fee, and I'm working on some music stuff. So thats what's been taking up all my time lately. Oh... and I've been running everyday and trying to get back into perfect shape. In-N-Out Burger is not helping me accomplish this goal.

Some crazy shit that has happened:

- I went to a party that Tom Morello (Rage Against the Machine guitarist), Noodles (The Offspring guitarist), Terra Patrick (Pornstar), Ryan Cabrerra (Fag), and Shifty (singer of Crazytown and lead on Celebrity Rehab and Sober House) were at. It was at the Roxy and shit was nuts. I actually talked with Shifty for quite awhile and since I'm a fan of Celebrity Rehab it was by far the highlight of my night.

-Today I was on the air for a good two minutes on Kiss FM shooting the shit and talking about girls with Ryan Seacrest. This is not a joke... it actually happened. Ryan Seacrest has a morning radio show on Kiss FM and I called in and we just started talking.

-I have been in LA two weeks now and am still DRUG FREE : )

-If you're reading this mom stop now... I spent the night at a girls house the other night (for confidentiality purposes the girl will remain unnamed) and some crazy shit happened that morning. That night I had been drinking and decided it would be funny to call all my friends at 2 in the morning (it was 2am LA time but it was really 5 in the morning for them.) None of them answered of course but I had a smile on my face knowing I had woken a few good souls. William didn't find this to be funny. So fast forward to the morning. I'm asleep in this girls bed when all of a sudden a loud ass alarm starts going off. I spring up and realize that its my phone ringing. For some reason I had it on SUPER FUCKING LOUD and it was on the most hideous ring tone known to man. There were a few things I didn't realize as I jumped out of bed that morning to shut my phone off: 1. I was still drunk 2. I was butt ass naked. So here I am jumping out of bed naked as a newborn and stumbling drunk to shut my phone off when all of a sudden I step on something really furry. I freak out and think that there is a Raccoon in the house. This was the most logical explanation to me at the time. I then look down and realize its a cat. I now remember that the girl has two cats. I make it to my phone (after having a heart attack from stepping on the fury beast) and see that its good ole' William Taylor calling me at 8 in the morning. The rest of the day seemed to just suck and I owe the start of such a shitty day to William. I will now not jokingly call my friends at ridiculous times because payback is a bitch. I have however made William the gay character in my screenplay I'm writing : )

-I have decided to post a "10 Things I've Learned Since Being in LA" blog once a week. So at least you will have that to look forward to. So here is the first one

10 Things I've Learned Since Being in LA

1. Asians can't drive worth shit (I'm sorry if I offended anyone but not only are Asians known to have small penises but they are now going to be known for sucking ass behind the wheel)

2. Going to run where there are a lot of hot girls running is the best workout motivator in the world (not only do I get excited about going for my runs now but I also seem to move at a much faster pace to try and impress)

3. A beer cost 5 dollars...God must hate LA

4. I found a cool bar that sells PBR for 2 dollars...Jesus loves you

5. I've moved across the country and the first really cool girl I've met is from North Carolina (WTF Mate)

6. You know the economy is bad when you find an ad on craigslist from a restaurant that is seeing people from 2-4 and you show up to find a line of over 100 people applying for the same waiter job. This can be a little discouraging

7. The majority of people out here are actually nice

8. The valley sucks and so does traffic

9. I'm gonna make being broke cool (thats more of a promise rather than something I learned)

10. Dancing to music in your car while sitting in traffic is a good way to pass time (plus people look at you like your crazy and then they smile because they see how good of a time you're having. This inevitably makes sitting in traffic for them less of an irritation and more of a celebration)

I LOVE YOU ALL... William is GAY : )

I Popped Champagne with a Hot Girl in a Clown Suit Below the Eiffel Tower

2008-06-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

My first night in Paris I was fortunate enough to meet and befriend Kelly, Jamie, and Kathryn who were all friends from Buffalo, New York. They invited me to join them in the park below the Eiffel tower for drinks. So we stopped by the grocery store picked up a 26 pack of beer, chips, and a baggett. There are about 4 strips of grass that are each about the size of a football field. They span from the tower all the way back to the main street. I found out that every night around 8:00 p.m., people bring picknic blankets and what not and just hangout in these fields and drink. There are even guys walking around selling bottles of champagne and wine. Every hour on the hour for ten minutes the Eiffel Tower has a light show thats pretty cool to watch.

Kelly, Jamie, Kathryn, and I had set up shop in the middle and began to drink like fish. It was a great beautiful night. But the night really took off when out of nowhere this girl wearing a clown suit pulled up on her bike and began talking with us. I have a quote from her of the one thing she kept asking me "Can I see your cock? I think my friends and I would like to see your cock!"

She was actually pretty cute and incredibly funny. I forget the reason for why she was riding around in a clown suit. She was in college in Paris and I think the clown suit had something to do with her celebrating for just finishing final exams. On a side note: I did not show her my cock (see mom, I'm not a whore). But I did ride around on her bike with her and we did pop a bottle of champagne.

So here I am, my first night in Paris riding around on a bike under the Eiffel Tower with a cute girl in a clown suit while drinking a bottle of champagne. Life doesn't get much better than that.

Here are some pictures above that have the Eiffel Tower in the background.

This was just the beginning of the night. The next post is about what happened later in the night and its titled "Driving a Vespa Drunk. Good or Bad???" Which then lead to "I Didn't Shower for Three Days and still Hooked up with a Hot Girl who Made my Top 5" KEEP CHECKIN BACK FOOL

I'm Feeling like a Criminal on the Run

2008-06-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

So my last day in London I'm walking around in Soho and for some unexplainable reason I walked into a salon and got my hair dyed blonde!!!! There are a couple of reasons for this drastic decision: 1. I wanted to do something different and being afraid of needles made getting a tattoo or piercing out of the question 2. I wanted to feel like I was on the run and had to change my looks... It was like I had to be in cognito when leaving for Paris in the morning. So I walked into the salon and got my hair dyed blonde. When I left for Paris the next morning I honestly felt like Hannibal Lecter on the run except I don't eat people "Hello Clarice."

You have to picture me walking through customs in Paris with my dark aviators on and this blonde hair hanging down to the eyes... RUNNING FROM THE DEVIL

Girls from Peru know how to Kiss but I know how to Bite

2008-06-30T06:03:00.001-07:00

London is a very unique city with tons of things to do. I spent 4 nights there and still didn't get to do everything I would have liked.

My second night in the city I ventured out to the Picadilly Circus area which consists of lots of bars and clubs. This is the area right by Soho. A lot happened to me in this area. I ended up at some three story nightclub. It was a Sunday night so it wasn't busy at all. I was having a fun time throwing back pints of Guinness and hitting on the bartender using every pickup line I knew when out of nowhere two girls come up to the bar beside me and start speaking spanish. Having just been in Spain and being full of beer I begin to hit on the girls in spanish. This turned out great because my spanish was so bad that they found it cute and invited me to join their table.

Talia and Andrea turned out to be from Peru and had just finished studying in Milan. The rest of the night we played Truth or Dare, Never Have I Ever, and had a number of Dance Off's. By the end of the night we had gone through 4 bottles of wine not to mention all the previous beer. Here are some pictures:

I love girls who know how to have a good time and aren't afraid to let loose. Talia and Andrea were the queens of a good time.

P.S. Girls from Peru are very good passionate kissers : ) Although at some point my lip got bit so hard it bleed WTF

Bonjour

2008-06-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

I feel like every other post is an apology for not keeping this thing updated daily. So once again let me start off by saying I'm sorry blah blah blah. Things have been crazy here in Europe. London was absolutely amazing and I will have a couple good stories up about in the next few days.

I'm in Paris now and I'm in love. The women here are the most beautiful and most fashionable I've ever seen. NO JOKE... I was walking down the sidewalk and 4 out of every 5 girls were hot and 4 out of every 5 were wearing some kind of cute skirt or dress. I don't have time to write much because I've gotta start drinking... JUST KIDDING...but seriously I do so I gotta run. Here is a short list of post that will be coming in the next few days. You don't want to miss these next few stories. Some crazy stuff has happened the past few days. Here are the titles:

-Driving a Vespa Drunk. Good or Bad???

-I Visited Jim Morrison and Oscar Wilde at the Cemetery

-I Didn't Shower for Three Days and still Hooked up with a hot girl who made my top 5 : )

-Girls from Peru know how to Kiss

-I Popped Champagne with a Hot Girl in a Clown Suit below the Eiffel Tower

-The Louvre (need I say more)

and many many more to come : )

Leaving for London in 5 hours!!!

2008-06-21T04:57:00.000-07:00

So I'm having a little trouble getting going today. Last night was my last night in Madrid with everyone and it was great. I need to get my lazy butt up and pack. I leave for London in a few hours and I have yet to pack. Here are a few pictures from last night. Oh and by the way...I MADE AN 86 in my spanish classes : )

I'm gonna miss you girls : (

This is Funny!

2008-06-19T06:20:00.001-07:00

I stumbled across this photo and couldn't stop laughing.

This Could be ME

2008-06-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

Today I had to do something that I hate doing. I had to ask my parents for money. For something that I hate so much I do it quite a lot. As you probably know I'll be leaving for London on Saturday and from there I'll hit up Paris and Edinburgh, Scotland. With the dollar being such shit right now these places are all extremely expensive. I feel like I've done fairly well with managing my money since I've been in Spain but unfortunately I'm in the home stretch and need that little extra cash flow.

Depending on what week, whose been in a good mood, and where I stand with each individual is the deciding factor on whether I ask my mom or dad. From my past tract record I've learned that my dad will give me a lot of shit for it right upfront and then let it go. My mom (once again depending on the week, the mood, and where I stand) however will usually be pretty cool about it. But whenever something bad comes up in the future she'll give me hell for it and never let me live it down. She will also make me work like a dog to work it off if I get in trouble. Alot of times she makes me feel bad saying I don't appreciate it. Well dammit I do appreciate it maybe I'm just not good at showing it sometimes.

Moving on... Today I knew that I had to contact one or the other and give them my plea. I decided to contact my mom since my dad had just given me shit about the credit card. To change things up though, instead of going with the normal phone call I decided to send an email. Not just any email my friends; an email that contained pictures of what would probably happen to me if she didn't put money in my account. I got the idea from all those sad television commercials of starving children in Africa. Here are the pictures for all to see. Thank God mom and Dad are still supporting me or this is where I'd probably be : )

Notice how all the guys have beards. I better start working on mine

I met the Devil and his name was Bidet

2008-06-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

So this post is a little graphic and I apologize for that. Sometimes life can be graphic and this is a detailed account of a personal situation that happened. I'm not proud of this and I've actually been scarred for life from it.

The other week we went and stayed in the town of Sevilla which is in the south of Spain. This place is absolutely beautiful and one of my favorite places I've visited so far. Anyway, the hotel we were staying in was called Hotel Murillo. I was expecting us to be staying in some low class dump but this place turned out to be very nice and eloquent.

We checked into the hotel in the early evening. I was sharing a room with 2 other guys and we all decided to take a nap before meeting the group in the lobby for dinner at 9. Our room was small but the bathroom was super nice and it had a Bidet (the thing that cleans your ass with water). For some reason I've been fascinated by the Bidet ever since I arrived in Europe yet I have still never used one.

After waking up from my nap I started getting ready for a night out on the town after dinner. I got dressed to impress and then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth before heading out. While brushing my teeth I kept noticing the Bidet eyeing me in the mirror. It had such a nice white porcelain glow to it. I walked over and turned the nob on it all the way to the right and water started to come out. This was it.... I was going to use the Bidet for the first time ever.

I set my toothbrush down, unbuckle my pants, and walk over to it. I turn around pulling my boxers down and put the center of my butt-cheeks right into the flow of water. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The water was scortching hot and singed every butt hair I had. I jumped about ten feet in the air and screamed like a little school girl who had just gotten her lollipop taken away.

It took me a good ten minutes to compose myself and wipe the tears from my eyes. When I walked back over to the Bidet to turn the bastard off I noticed that the nob I used to turn it on could be turned to the right or left depending on whether you wanted hot or cold water. Me being the over zealous dumb-ass that I am just turned it all the way to the right assuming that that was the correct way. Then you add the time of me finishing brushing my teeth before using it gave it even more time to make sure the water came from the depths of hell. I spent the rest of the weekend walking around as if I had just been gang-raped by the prisoners in the Clark County Jail. My butt-cheeks tense up everytime I see a Bidet now.

I went to the front desk and demanded that in the future they have instruction manuals in the bathrooms of how to properly use the Bidet. The concierge looked at me and said "my friend, you do know that those are only for women." That son of a bitch

The picture at the top left is of me and the culprit

Its 2 in the afternoon and I'm just getting in from last night

2008-06-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

Ok... so I have so many things to talk about but I'm going to just focus on the events of last night and this morning since it was kind of crazy. So I had a date last night with a very pretty spanish girl who we'll call "Shaniqua" for confidentiality purposes. This was my fist actual date date since I've been here in Spain. Don't get me wrong, I've been out with plenty of girls since I've been here but this was an actual date.

Let me start off by giving you a little background information about Shaniqua. I met her two nights ago at this big free outdoor concert in Plaza Colon. Shaniqua and her friend approached my roommate and I and just started talking. They turned out to be incredibly cool and good looking girls so we invited them to the bar after the concert. Shaniqua and I connected immediately because she actually could speak english fairly well : ) This was because she had done a semester abroad in the states.

We exchanged information after the bar and when getting home we talked online for a while. This turned into us setting up a date for last night.

So last night we met on Gran Via and went to the movies. We went and saw "21" in spanish which turned out to be really good. Usually when I take a girl on a date I pay regardless of the situation however; due to the finacial situation I'm in, I thank God that we went dutch. After the movie I did what any respectable guy would do (I took her to my favorite bar.) A bunch of my friends and people from the program happened to be at the bar so we had a blast.

Fast forward to the walk home: So we leave the bar jolly and start heading home. Being the gentleman that I am (and since after quite a few drinks I actually thought I lived near her) I walked her home/road on the bus with her.

So we arrive at her apartment where she lives with her family. She asks if I want to come up and hangout. OF COURSE. She warns me that I'll have to be super quite going in since she lives with her family. ME BE QUITE come on. I agree knowing that this will take an incredible amount of discipline and focus since I haven't been silent in 22 years. So we head up.

She takes me into her room and shows me all kinds of Spanish stuff, pictures, and what not. She plays field hockey so there was all kinds of stuff having to do with that. We talked and talked and talked : ) Not realizing how late it actually was and since the Metro was closed by this time she asks if I'd like to just sleep there for the night. You don't have to ask me twice.

Fast forward to this morning: I wake up around 9:00a.m. but I can't leave because her mom and sister are up doing things and of course they would kill her if they knew she had a boy spend the night. Shaniqua tells me not to worry because they'll leave in a little bit. 1 hour passes, 2 hours pass, 3 hours pass and the mom is still hanging out around the house. I look out the window to see if there is anyway to climb down. This is a no go due to the fact that we are on the eighth floor and I would definitely fall to my death. Another problem arises... I have to pee like a race horse but I can't leave the room till her mom is gone.

Finally around 1:30 I tell her that I've gotta get outta here for a number of reason. 1. I've gotta pee 2. I have school work I've gotta do before class 3. I'm getting clausterphobic She agrees to try and sneak me out. She leaves the room and then comes in and directs me to come quick. I walk out of the room and hear her mom in the kitchen. We tip toe to the door, she opens the door and as I start to walk out her mom calls her name. We've been caught! So what do I do? I RUN and RUN and RUN all the way down all eight flights of stairs and out the front door.

I must admit I walked home with a huge smile on my face the entire way.

The picture on the top right is her (Shaniqua haha)

I've found my long lost GIRLFRIEND

2008-06-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

So... I saw this picture and realized that there is true love at first sight. For some reason I love this shot. Hopefully once I move to L.A. or NYC I can meet this girl and start a family : )

I'm SORRY for the Delay

2008-06-10T05:08:00.000-07:00

Ok... so its been a few too many days since my last post. I'm sorry but things here in Spain are absolutely crazy and I barely have time to sleep. That being said, I just wanted to let everyone know that I've got some catching up to do on these posts. I just got back from an amazing trip to Sevilla, Cordoba, and Granada. I will pe putting up a seperate post all about this trip. Believe me this is something you're going to want to read.

So I've decided to share with everyone what my grades are so far. Please keep in mind that its been 2 years since I've been in a spanish classroom and that trying to pack Spanish 203 and Spanish 204 into five weeks its pretty difficult. So here it is my friends:

QUIZ Grades

91, 74, 94, 100, 67, 93, 40, 100, and a 90

Exam Grades

So far we've had nine quizzes and one test. I'm pretty proud of myself for hanging with a B at the moment. We have our second exam tomorrow. WISH ME LUCK

So here is what will be posted in the next day or two:

1. Matthew vs. The Bidet (the toilet butt cleaner thing) in Sevilla

2. The most beautiful places on earth: Granada and Sevilla

3. Dos Chicas and Uno Mateo (two chicks and only one Matthew)

STAY TUNED

I LOVE ART

2008-05-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

Today I went to the Museo Del Prado (The Prado Museum). This is one of the most famous museums in the world and feautures the world's finest collection of European art. I have always loved art and although I don't know much about it, I do know what I like. I must say I was overwhelmed by all the beauty of the work in the museum. I've selected two pictures to include in this post that were my favorites. It was hard to pick just two. There were six paitings that literally moved me in an emotional way.

The painting that literally brought tears to my eyes (which of course I covered up as quickly as possible cause I'm a man) and was by far my favorite was "Cristo Muerto , sostenido por un Angel" (The Dead Christ supported by an Angel.) This was done by the artist Antonello De Messina. This painting was done in 1475. Being able to stand right in front of it was breathtaking. It was so realistic and you could actually feel the emotion coming out of the Angel as well as Jesus. I definitely plan on visiting this museum when I'm older just so I can look at this painting one last time before I die. It is well worth another trip to Madrid. I could probably go on and on about it but I'll just post a picture and leave everyone to there own thoughts of it.

My second favorite painting was "Saturno Devorando a su Hijo" (Saturn Devouring his Child). The artist was the famous Francisco Goya and this particular piece was done in 1819. This piece was actually on one of the walls in Goya's house and he never intended for anyone to see it, yet it became one of his most famous works. This painting is very dark and disturbing. It depicts the Greek God Saturn eating one of his children. I'm going to try and explain the Greek legend of this but I know I'm a little off. Anyway, it is said that Saturn was told that one of his children/ one of his sons will kill him and take over as God. When Saturn discovered this he ended up eating every son that he had and that his wife birthed. So the painting is a representation of Saturn eating one of his sons. The funny thing is that Saturns wife ended up hiding one of her sons (Zeus) and he ended up killing Saturn and becoming the Greek God (haha Karma is a bitch). I don't know much about Greek mythology but thats the story in a nutshell. All of Goya's work was absolutely amazing but this piece sent chills down my spine.

I am so thankful that I got to see such beautiful and historic art today. There are many things in life that bring a smile to my face but seeing many of these paitings not only did that but re-opened my imagination and helped point out the meaning of life and its beauty. There you have some sentimental shit from the one and only Matthew. Hope you enjoyed.

I promise that the next posting will be a great crazy story depicting the life of Matthew. Expect this to entail girls and alcohol. Hasta Luego

I Like Cerveza (BEER) and Chicas (Women)

2008-05-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

Of course everyone is interested in how the nightlife in Madrid is. Let me be the first to tell you that it is absolutely amazing. A normal night in Madrid begins anywhere between 10:30 and 11:30 at a Tapa or local bar where you just have a few drinks and sit around and talk. Once 1:00a.m. rolls around you head to the Discoteca (Dance Club). This is where the party really gets started. Although you drink heavily at these places the actual main focus is the dancing. When returning to the U.S. I will be a skilled ass-shaker/salsa maker. Its funny because you'll be dancing to some obscure Spanish dance music and the next thing you know Outkast comes on and the place goes nuts. Another great thing about the bars and discotecas is that its cheaper to drink liquor and rum than it is to drink a soft drink or beer. P.S. Spanish women are gorgeous and will dance circles around your ass. I'm tired and am trying to keep this PG so I'm going to leave it at this for now. Here are a couple of pictures of me and friends out. Stay tuned for more ridiculous and interesting posts.

Toledo is the shiz-nit

2008-05-25T06:51:00.000-07:00

Ok... first off let me start by apologizing for not having updated this blog in a few days. It seems like the days here fly and the nights never last as long as I'd like. There is always something going on and there is always something to do. Between school, studying, and going out I'm using every hour of the day and getting about 5 hours of sleep a night. Today is the first day that I'm just chilling in the apartment and have no obligations or engagements.

Yesterday we took a bus to Toledo which was unbelievably amazing and beautiful in every aspect. I have included two pictures above that I took while in Toledo. The one on the left is of a street in the town. All the streets are very narrow and have lots of flowers and decoration hanging. The picture on the right is of Toledo from a far and the giant building in the background is the palace. Toledo is a place with beautiful architecture, amazing cathedrals, and cobblestone roads that suck to walk on but add to the beauty. I highly recommend reading up on the amazing history of Toledo because its incredibly interesting. The Cathedral of Saint Mary was by far one of the most holy and beautiful churches I have ever been in. I don't even know what I could compare it to. There is a spot where the angel of the Virgin Mary came down and touched. People travel from all over the world to visit this spot. You place your hand on it and repeat some phrase thats in Spanish and make a wish. I did this three times to try and increase my luck : ) I also went to the holy water and dabbed my hand in it and did that whole thing. I did this at least 4 times which is a little obsessive but not having been in a church in two years I felt I had a lot to make up for. So hopefully I have a lot of luck to last for a while.

I can't wait to show everyone all the pictures I took while inToledo.

Mi Senora and Me

2008-05-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

Here is a quick video of Senora Maria and I. Its pretty funny because she thought I was taking a picture and then I told her that its a video not a photo. I will post a better video of my room and apartment soon so keep checking back. Hasta Luego : )

I'm in SPAIN in the Membrane!

2008-05-20T03:32:00.000-07:00

I'M IN SPAIN!!!! Thats right everybody. To the left you will notice the picture of me and a little spanish woman. That Spanish woman is Senora Dominguez. She is the one who will be doing the laundry, cooking, and dealing of my antics. This is gonna have to be a short blog because I've got a lot of exploring to do in this beautiful neighborhood. The apartment rocks and its just me and four other guys. There are three rooms setup so that there are two in two of the rooms and then a room for a single. Of course I got the single : ) The apartment has wireless internet, television, an amazing balcony (there is a bed in a little shed on the balcony and the Senora told me this is where we have to sleep if we come in way too wasted. That bed will probably become my friend haha just kidding) there is also a bathroom with a ass washer thingy... the thing that squirts water on and into your ass after you poop. I think its called a "Badoo?" I know I butchered the spelling and I can't look up the correct spelling because when using Google and Wikipedia everything comes up in ESPANOL. The shower has like 15 different squirter things... so when you're showering you're getting shot with water from all angles. This place is heaven on earth so far. What sucks is everything over he is so damn expensive. Well I've gotta go meet some Chica's. Adios mi amigos : )

p.s. I will be posting a video soon of my room and my view.

The time that I will be in EUROPE

2008-05-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

Alrighty folks... Just so everyone has an understanding of where I'm going and when I'll be there I've decided to make a list. Here are the plans but remember everything is subject to change and who knows where I'll end up. As of now this is the hard layout.

Madrid: May 20- June 21

London: June 22- June 25

Paris: June 25- June 28

Edinburgh: June 28- July 2

Madrid: July 2- July 3

U.S.A.: arrival on July 3rd if they decide to let me back in : )